I am sitting here alone in my space… filled with anxiety and trying not to scream as I’m drowning in emotional claustrophobia. At first, I couldn’t help but think, “Why am I feeling like this? I shouldn’t be in this mindset right now! I’ve come too far to be here!”
It’s true, I’ve come mad far. But… Life is a cycle.
LIFE IS A CYCLE!
Robert Frost was onto something when he proclaimed “nothing gold can stay”. I believe that nothing good can truly last continuously… as a cycle, life will always have its share of good times and also times of turbulence. It’s a given that we will all experience periods of smooth sailing and periods in which we encounter a few potholes and construction zones along the way. Even Jesus Christ and his disciples said it wouldn’t be easy; that we will definitely have to deal with suffering not only by way of the world, but also through God as He disciplines us, His children (John 16:33 and Hebrews 12:7).
So, yes… I admit that my anxiety level is beyond 100. That my season of growth scares me more than words can express. That I fear what God equipped me with (spiritually, mentally and emotionally) is still not enough to help me be a good daughter, sister, cousin, niece, friend, teacher… Aunt. But I also know that this part of the cycle I’m in right now is not where I will be forever. A shift will come. The anxiety and fear will give way to the presence of the Spirit. Faith will obliterate any self-doubt in the next steps of my journey.
*Self-motivation to get my Cycle of Life moving upward:
“You are from God, little [Shawanna], and have overcome [the negative spirits in the world]; because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world” – 1 John 4:4
How are you speaking progress into your Cycle of Life?