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The Obliteration of Expectation.

There are roles that we all inherit and spend our lives trying to successfully execute, such as being a daughter, a sister, and even a woman. However, there are also roles that we choose to adopt and apply towards our lives, resulting in a complete shift of perspective, morals, values, and overall lifestyle. For me, that adoptive role was becoming a Christian woman.

Though I have always been a believer of God and the Son, it was not until this past March that I wholeheartedly committed myself to living for Christ and being of God to the best of my abilities. When I made the decision to become saved and to also join my church, I felt so… satisfied. The peace and happiness I felt during that time, in which I became a part of something so full of the Truth and amongst people who loved Jesus just as much as I do, was euphoric. Surreal. Almost too good to be true. I knew that being in the Faith was never meant to be easy (as we know from the lives of Jesus Christ and his Disciples), but for that period of time I truly felt that my spiritual journey would always be smooth and positive…

…Until my “should” mentality kicked into overdrive and the expectations of being a Christian woman began to overwhelm me. As humans, we all have moments in which our expectations positively influence what we do and say, leading to accomplishment and joy. Yet, when expectations are out of reach in accordance to our abilities, it may become debilitating.

Hence, when I began to realize that I lack a lot of the qualities that I expected to be present in a Christian woman, I no longer felt accomplished or joyful. I felt as if my peace had been suddenly snatched from my hands. There I was, a member of an amazing church as well as awesome Faith-based women’s groups, and I was not able to recite scripture from my memory, pray with a powerful voice and with longevity, fast for more than one day, nor was I able to fellowship and create bonds confidently with other people. I could not help but to feel that because I could not meet those expectations, I was not worthy of taking on the role of a Christian woman.

It was not until further into my spiritual journey that I realized those expectations were of the world and not of God. The amount of scriptures I memorized and the way I pray does not determine whether or not I love my Father or that He loves and accepted me. According to the Word, “…Everyone who sees the Son and believes in him will have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day”John 6:40.

It is through our genuine belief and Faith in Jesus Christ that we are deemed worthy of the Father and the Son. The expectations of the world are irrelevant when it comes to embracing God and basking in His Grace and Love. For the saying is true: “Peace begins when expectations end [and Christ steps in]”.

XOXO Sheesh



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