Once upon a time, there was a twenty-four year old woman who still felt like a little girl. From an outsider’s perspective, this woman was clearly in the midst of adulthood: working full time while also pursuing her college degree; exerting independence through paying her own monthly bills and being able to get from Point A to Point B without having to ask Mommy and Daddy for a lift. Obviously, from the outside it seemed as if she was on her “Grown Woman Status”. From the outside…
Yet, beyond her normal facade dwelled an emptiness she herself could not fill…a sense of inadequacy caused by the significant lack of something that seemed necessary for her personal completion. Despite her growth as an individual, as a woman, it was clear to her that the remedy to her emptiness and inadequacy was a relationship. A soul man. “The One”. It was only when she found him that she could live happily ever after… Right?
There are countless women throughout the world whose perspective on relationships mirror the narrative above. Maybe you are this woman. I know I used to be this woman. I represent the girls who grew up watching princesses getting rescued by handsome princes before riding off in the sunset. I represent the teenage girls who were bombarded with media that placed emphasis on crazy, “love at first sight”, hungry adolescent love that endured catastrophe beyond one’s imagination. I represent the young women who are pressured beyond reason to find a boyfriend and have sex as soon as possible, if not for anything else, to receive validation of normalcy from their imperfect human counterparts.
Still… I also represent the women who suffer from a shattered sense of confidence and self-worth by way of a broken heart. I represent the women whose broken hearts were pieced back together through Faith as well as the Grace and Love of Jesus Christ Himself. And I represent the women of God who took His Word and used it as a weapon to claim victory over the lies fed to them by a depleting society. For it has been written:
There is a difference between being a wife and [an unmarried woman]. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world- how she may please her husband.
– 1 Corinthians 7:34
I wish I could go back to my twenty-four year old self and tell her that living single is just as much of a blessing as being in a relationship (1 Corinthians 7:7). If only that younger version of me understood the abundance of life readily available to the single woman. That God created her with intent and purpose. That she is fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14). On second thought, I probably would not change a thing… For only our God could create such a journey for me that ultimately instilled in me the beauty of living single.